In looking back to my “Finding Religion” post earlier, I now see that I wrote it back in August. Back then I’m pretty sure that there were mammoths and glaciers and all kinds of prehistoric stuff. It was a while ago, to say the least.

I settled on a church, and I now consider it my place of worship. It is St. John the Baptist Catholic Church in Draper and it’s a pretty nice place to go. It’s not a perfect place to go–they keep it a little too cold in the sanctuary and the microphone doesn’t do a very good job of filling the hall–but it’s really nice. I like being only one of probably a thousand people at mass because no one bothers me or even cares who I am most of the time. Catholics aren’t really into pushing their religion on others, and even when I mention that I’m new, I’m not pounced upon by Bible-toting religion salesmen. As a former Mormon, I’m used to being in my personal bubble at church where no one touches you and you don’t have to do anything but sit there. At the Catholic mass, I have to sometimes hold hands, shake hands, sit, stand and kneel. It’s largely forgivable though and it’s not like I’m really into all that anyway. When in Rome, you know?

Since August I’ve gone from attending weekly to attending monthly to pretty much never going to church because I’m a lazy slob who hasn’t seen 11:00AM on a Sunday in months. I’m going to change this, but it’s going to take some work. Overall it’s time for me to get back on the wagon and take charge of things like waking up and not being 100% worthless all the time.  It’s a work in progress and please don’t judge the finished product by the mess.

So yeah.  I have a church.  It’s nice.  Ta-da!

Objective: Carpe diem and all that rot.

Reasons: Utah is too cold and too hot, as is most every place. The wind blows too much. My car gets filthy sitting still and it makes me pissed all the time. I’m sick of crappy environments when there is far better out there.

Goals: Earn every last cent that I can until I turn 35. When 35 is reached, I am to immediately vacate my home and move to a tropical island. Really, I don’t need much to be happy and after a couple weeks without a television and easily accessible internet, I won’t miss them. I will write, paint, read, and relax from that moment forward. (Yes, I know that money is a real issue here and this entire thing is subject to extension if I don’t have the means at 35.)

Quite simply, I don’t need tens of millions and I don’t need the biggest house in the neighborhood. All I need is a small, pleasant living space where I can be left alone and where I can pursue the things in life that actually matter to me. In studying the climates around the world, it has become very apparent that I live in an extremely hot, extremely cold, extremely dry, and extremely ugly place. In fact, it’s actually pretty hard to find a place more extreme in climate than Utah. There is basically no spring or fall. It’s all super hot summers and super cold, snowy winters. I’m sick of it and frankly, I’m not going to stay here forever.

I want:

• to barbecue every single day.
• a cold beer during a wam afternoon.
• to never, ever see snow again. Ever.
• trees.

I will not endure:

• working 9-5 every day until I’m old and toothless so that I will feel good about myself.
• tumbleweeds blowing across the road in front of me.
• sandstorms, dirt storms, or valley inversion.
• 103 degree temperatures throughout July and August and 21 degree temperatures throughout January and February.

I realize that it’s everyone’s dream to leave their flawed existence for something better and that I am nothing special by wanting the same. In fact, how dare I suggest that I’ll actually be able to leave it all behind? I mean, what will I do for money? Food? I’m doing all that I can to live my life such that I will eventually be able to accomplish these goals. This includes saving, planning, earning, wishing, dreaming, and all sorts of other stuff. If it doesn’t happen, it’s not the end of the world. But I’ll be damned if I’m not going to try.

We’ll see what happens.

I may start attending a church again. Now I just need to find one.

Maybe it stems from my heavily religious upbringing, or maybe it’s because I desire another degree of structure and dedication in my life, but whatever the reason I’ve been feeling a growing storm of religious hunger within myself. I miss religion, to be honest. I believe that a religious life, wisely free of zealotry or excess, can be richer than any alternative. With religion a person inherits a genuine support network, a set of specific moral guidelines, a more structured time schedule, and many additional constructive elements. Further down the road, as I will probably eventually marry and have children, a religion can often provide improved family cohesiveness and a more directional perspective for children. Dogmatic belief and ritual aside, these reasons alone are a sufficient argument for religion.

There are apologists in every religion, vehemently fighting for their faith through facts, scripture, history, science, prophesy, speculation, assumption, and countless other theaters of thought. Personally, I am not looking for absolute truth as I highly doubt that such a thing exists. I absolutely refuse to delve into the petty arguments that permeate modern religion. While a religion’s teachings must certainly be a concern, it is by no means the only one, and my search for a compatible church will not involve intensive studies in comparative religion. I will not be lured by the fool’s gold of “truth.” For now, I seek religion for the goodness of it, and to allow this goodness to enrich my life.

My religious search does come with a deep, yet cautious hope. I very truly hope that there is a loving god, that there is a pleasant and bountiful afterlife, and that we may be reunited with dead loved ones. I suppose everyone hopes for these things. My scientific leanings and speculation leave me quite pessimistic, and that probably won’t change soon. Even so, I hope that religion may eventually yield optimism for me in some form.

So, which church do I choose? For now, I will limit myself to Christian churches because they are standard in the United States and probably have the best infrastructure of members, clergy, and location available to me. Even though I live in Utah, Mormonism is disqualified for many reasons I won’t discuss now. Because I’m not basing my decision on doctrine alone, it will be necessary for me to visit local churches to make a decision. To get started, I will visit four churches, one Catholic, two Protestant, and one non-denominational.

For the next four weeks, I will visit the following churches:

WEEK ONE - St. John the Baptist Catholic Church (Draper, UT): This church is part of a surprisingly large K-12 Catholic school complex. This visit will likely be the largest congregation of my tour. It’ll be pretty easy to disappear here and it should provide a pretty non threatening, easy first week.

WEEK TWO - Grace Lutheran Church (Sandy, UT): This is a medium sized church which is also part of a private school complex. It will be interesting to see the contrast between Catholic and Protestant churches during this visit. I’m expecting a more intimate setting here, very different from the giant Catholic church from the week before.

WEEK THREE - Hilltop United Methodist Church (Sandy, UT): Another Protestant church, just for some contrast. This is a pretty big church and I really have no idea what to expect. They offer three different versions of mass: casual, contemporary, and traditional. Guess which one I’ll be attending.

WEEK FOUR - Grace Community Bible Church (Sandy, UT): This is an Evangelical bible study Christian church. It’s similar to Protestantism, but I’m expecting a lot more energy, modern services, and general excitement from this group. We’ll see what happens.

I strain to hear you, man of past,
Yet we shall never meet.
You’ve left your story strewn about;
Your song, your crafts, your axe.

Intently now I marvel how,
Astride vast seas of years
The time recedes, you whisper back,
“Just lately I was here.”

I suppose that every weblog starts with a resolute introductory post, fortelling upcoming submissions and intended themes, and making steadfast promises of continuous updates. This is my attempt at the same.

I have no grand intentions for this weblog, nor will I fool myself into believing that in a month, a year, or perhaps more, this site will be anything more than it is today: another parcel of wasted space adrift within an already overcrowded internet. I am quite aware of the meaninglessness of this ridiculous little website and I would never intend for anyone to squander their time by reading it. It will serve as a journal for me, surviving in indelible electronic form instead of easily lost pages filled with my scribblings; anything else is unintended.

Why present an admittedly personal thing in a very public format such as this weblog? Accountability is one reason. I will have to watch my spelling, my grammar, and my language lest I offend or inadvertently entertain some anonymous passerby. Pure vanity probably takes up the remaining slack. It is one of the pinnacles of pretentiousness to assume that one’s words carry sufficient relevance as to necessitate public display. Nevertheless, I will reveal my own foolish self-importance by posting my words here as if they actually are important (and they are not).

I will be using this weblog as a continually renewable sheet of paper. It will serve as a depository for my verbal diarrhea whenever a purge becomes necessary, and of late, such needs have arisen on a fairly regular schedule. Really, that is all this weblog will be: a place for me to offload my garbage. Should you be so perverse as to slog through the literary muck that I will dump here, I will appreciate your attention but I will never solicit it nor expect it.